It's Almost Here!

It's 4 days until Christmas, my living room has turned into a winter wonderland and my children have become super-hyped up little boys!

But I am so excited by it all. Living on my own for 20 years Christmas was often a tough time of year. I did have many wonderful Christmases at my sister's house, but watching her children open presents, then showing them all to their neighbors and friends often left me feeling I was on the outside looking in. Being single isn't all it's cracked up to be. Yes I made all the decisions, I decided what I was going to eat, where I was going over the weekend. Summer holidays were spent in my garden, pottering around and reading great books. My house was quiet, there were fields behind my house, also quiet. You could hear a pin drop. I was often lonely. When I got married I had to make SO many adjustments, after all I hadn't just married, I had also left my country of birth. I knew no-one here, there was nothing familiar to comfort me and make me feel secure in the decisions I was making.

And then I had the twins! Was I ready for that - at 51? Yes and no! I thought I was prepared and in many ways I was, but I had completely underestimated how different my life was about to become. I was laid off from work just as I was about to return from maternity leave, so we decided I would stay home and raise the twins. Now they are almost 5, where did those years go to? I have no idea, time passes by so quickly, and this Christmas is really a great one, because the boys are almost 5, they understand what's going to happen. They believe in fairies, the elf that comes to our house to ensure they are good in the run up to Christmas, and they certainly believe in Santa. I am excited to watch them, their eyes lighting up as they count down the days to Christmas Day. I can't wait to see them open their presents, it's going to be an exciting and fun day.

It's a lot of work, moving the elf to a new position every night, wrapping presents when the boys are asleep in bed, trying to keep them from going into the basement where all their presents are wrapped and waiting for the big day. We have floors to clean and shelves to dust. The Christmas train set and ice rink (thank you Eddie and Audrey) have to be put out. We need some lights over the archway into the dining room and the boys want to make gingerbread men cookies!

The best thing I ever accomplished in my life are my children! And the lonely years staying home to take care of them was hard and sometimes boring, but always I have been grateful to have been able to raise the boys from birth. To see them crawl and take their first step. To hear them start to speak and watch their faces as they discovered something new!

I don't think I have looked forward to a Christmas more than this one. I am no longer on the outside looking in, I am right in the middle of everything. I know what my Christmas presents are, I don't care if there are no surprises, I am getting what I want. The best part is going to be watching the boys rip into the paper and discover all the wonderful toys Santa has left for them. I love this season, it's even going to snow for Christmas Day, could anything be more perfect?