Thank goodness it's almost over!

I am talking about 2009!

It was not the best year for me, I can think of few highlights and lots of low points, which is never good!

At the start of the year I was diagnosed with Lupus, and now take an amazing array of medicines to maintain a 'normal' and active lifestyle. I have also been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, and moderate to severe disc degeneration - which makes it painful and difficult to stand or walk for very long. The primary medication I take to control the Lupus can affect the eyes, so prior to starting treatment I needed a full 'physical' on my eyes. It was at that first appointment when I discovered I was a 'glaucoma suspect'! I thought perhaps someone should just take me out and shoot me! I now have the pressure in my eyes checked every six months, and so far, so good!

During the summer, my knees were particularly sore and painful and I was struggling to get up and down the stairs. As a result I required surgery on my right knee, which meant spending 6 weeks in a wheelchair. Oh the fun the twins had with that!!

A high point was discovering that I no longer required asthma medications. Living here in Colorado has been very good for my health (as far as my asthma is concered) and the disease I have had since birth is now well controlled...............on nothing but fresh air! I never thought that would happen.

The biggest high point of the year was heading back to the UK for the first time in 8 years! I got to see my family again, had a mini family reunion which was wonderful, and introduced the twins to my family. The low point of that vacation? It was definitely leaving. I cried. I didn't want to come back to America, I wanted to stay close to my family and all the things I love so much. The transition back to life here in Monument was incredibly hard and difficult for me. Only now about 7 months later, am I starting to feel 'at home' again.

Another low point was noticing my hair falling out and becoming very thin. It's a result of both the Lupus and the medication I take to control it. I was incredibly upset when I realized what was happening. I found it hard to style my hair because it was looking stringy and so fine. My hair stylist suggested we no longer highlight my hair, so blonde became brown again and I began using a special array of hair products to help minimize the thinning effect. It took a while to get used to brown hair after being blonde for so many years, but I like it now, and fortunately, there's not too much gray in there!

Of course through the year there are many small high points. Watching the twins grow and make the change from toddlers to boys. They are loud, noisy and annoying! They are loving, cuddly and funny! And often all of those things in the same hour! I am thankful for my friends, who have helped me adjust to this 'new normal' that Lupus has forced onto me, but I am still looking to the New Year in the hope of more high points than low points!

It's Almost Here!

It's 4 days until Christmas, my living room has turned into a winter wonderland and my children have become super-hyped up little boys!

But I am so excited by it all. Living on my own for 20 years Christmas was often a tough time of year. I did have many wonderful Christmases at my sister's house, but watching her children open presents, then showing them all to their neighbors and friends often left me feeling I was on the outside looking in. Being single isn't all it's cracked up to be. Yes I made all the decisions, I decided what I was going to eat, where I was going over the weekend. Summer holidays were spent in my garden, pottering around and reading great books. My house was quiet, there were fields behind my house, also quiet. You could hear a pin drop. I was often lonely. When I got married I had to make SO many adjustments, after all I hadn't just married, I had also left my country of birth. I knew no-one here, there was nothing familiar to comfort me and make me feel secure in the decisions I was making.

And then I had the twins! Was I ready for that - at 51? Yes and no! I thought I was prepared and in many ways I was, but I had completely underestimated how different my life was about to become. I was laid off from work just as I was about to return from maternity leave, so we decided I would stay home and raise the twins. Now they are almost 5, where did those years go to? I have no idea, time passes by so quickly, and this Christmas is really a great one, because the boys are almost 5, they understand what's going to happen. They believe in fairies, the elf that comes to our house to ensure they are good in the run up to Christmas, and they certainly believe in Santa. I am excited to watch them, their eyes lighting up as they count down the days to Christmas Day. I can't wait to see them open their presents, it's going to be an exciting and fun day.

It's a lot of work, moving the elf to a new position every night, wrapping presents when the boys are asleep in bed, trying to keep them from going into the basement where all their presents are wrapped and waiting for the big day. We have floors to clean and shelves to dust. The Christmas train set and ice rink (thank you Eddie and Audrey) have to be put out. We need some lights over the archway into the dining room and the boys want to make gingerbread men cookies!

The best thing I ever accomplished in my life are my children! And the lonely years staying home to take care of them was hard and sometimes boring, but always I have been grateful to have been able to raise the boys from birth. To see them crawl and take their first step. To hear them start to speak and watch their faces as they discovered something new!

I don't think I have looked forward to a Christmas more than this one. I am no longer on the outside looking in, I am right in the middle of everything. I know what my Christmas presents are, I don't care if there are no surprises, I am getting what I want. The best part is going to be watching the boys rip into the paper and discover all the wonderful toys Santa has left for them. I love this season, it's even going to snow for Christmas Day, could anything be more perfect?

Guys

Whenever I ask Jamie what he did at preschool his answer is always the same. It's a solemn "I cannot know." It makes me smile, but leaves me in the dark as to his activities each morning. Today though, I am gaining some insight into what my boys do in school.

My twins have 'guys', they've had them since they began to talk. The guys have strange names like Teetsee and Dukrak, and they are all over the place. I have never seen them, but they are the ones responsible for the swings in the back garden that have been going to and fro all afternoon. I thought it was the wind, but my boys told me it was their guys.

Their guys were on the plane with us when we flew to the UK earlier this year, and while it seems that Teetsee mostly lives in the top of a tree, he also lives under London Bridge! Right now the guys are in my house. They have been skateboarding and are now fighting Master Roshi from the Dragon BallZ cartoon. But the guys have also been to school this afternoon, one of them became the helper for snack time, a high honor! He had to wash his hands first and got his sleeves wet. Another guy was selected to ring the bell! They have danced and sung songs for the Christmas concert next week, because of course the guys have a starring role, and know all the words for the songs they will sing.

The guys are never blamed for anything bad in the house, or any toy that gets broken or any fight that is started. The guys are always the ones who do good things, they help the twins go to sleep and regularly drive to school with us, then wait in the car in the dark garage until it's time to go collect the boys.

I like these guys, they are easy to get on with, have a strange language of their own - which of course my twins can understand - while I cannot! I wonder how long they are going to be a part of our lives?

How quickly time goes by

I can barely believe that Christmas is around the corner. How did that happen? In fact the entire year seems to have rushed by in a flash. Early in the year I was anticipating our 3 week trip back to the UK, of course that was wonderful, and I got to meet up with so many friends and family, but 3 weeks is just never enough! All the plans I had to visit different places just fell by the wayside as we tried to fit in as much as possible in the time we had. We arrived back home in time for the twins to enjoy their last day of preschool before they broke up for summer.

Once again I planned to do lots of things with the boys, we had the entire summer ahead of us. I wanted to go to the zoo, go up Pike's Peak, have lots of picnics in the park, summer crafts - all sorts of things. I was so excited about the good times I had planned. And then I had knee surgery! I was stuck in a wheelchair for 6 weeks. Plus it rained a lot through the summer, much more rain than we ever experience here. Before I knew what was happening I was starting to prepare for the boys to head back to school!

And here we are. November 14, only two weeks until Thanksgiving and 6 weeks until Christmas! How did that happen? When I was single, it often seemed as if time was standing still. Life was slower altogether and I meandered through my weekends off work and my summer holidays. Pottered around in my garden, spent lazy afternoons reading a good book, and even stayed in bed VERY late reading the Sunday paper! Now two screaming little boys lurch through our bedroom door around 6.30am and hurl themselves on our bed. They don't understand how to whisper and be quiet, quiet is not a concept they get! So our days start early, if reluctantly, and the rest of the day just flies by in a blur!

I need to get started on Christmas cards and present lists. If I want to mail anything to my family in the UK I have to think ahead to ensure I don't miss the post! I certainly need more specifics on the toys the twins want Santa to bring them this year, a moon "thingy" is not really helpful to me! I need to go online and see what's the best price and where. I need to make photograph calendars for my family, it's a great way for them to see what the boys have been up to during the year. I need to think about food for both Thanksgiving and Christmas. Chuck has no time off this year other than Christmas Day, so I have a feeling I will be doing a HUGE grocery shop with the boys in tow! Not looking forward to that at all! The boys have read and re-read the ToysRUs catalog, they want just about everything in it, except the items Oliver says are "girlish"!

It's another year almost done, but I am loving the season. The boys are so excited, they spent the day yesterday pretending they were Santa delivering present. They tied their favorite cuddly toys up in their baby blankets, handed them to each other - or me - so they could be unwrapped and enjoyed! Their delight in the snow, and the 'cel'bation' as Jamie calls it makes it so much fun for me! If nothing else, seeing and sharing these celebrations and events with them will keep me young! (As long as it doesn't kill me first!)

The funny things they say! 3

Oliver is a great talker, despite the fact that some of my friends rarely hear him. When we are out in the car, I get a running commentary from both boys on the things they see, the shapes in the clouds and anything else that takes their fancy.

Driving back home through Palmer Lake last week we passed the preschool. The boys were excited to spot it and Jamie asked was it Kindergarten, at which point Oliver piped up and said "No, it's a graveyard school".

A graveyard school?? What?? I must have misheard. So I asked Oliver to say it again and he said "It's a graveyard school!" I started laughing although I was totally puzzled over what he meant and where the phrase had come from.

Oliver was getting cross at me because I was laughing, so I made a supreme effort, stopped giggling and asked him where he had heard that term before. "From Kylie! Her mummy says Kylie goes to graveyard school now!!"

The penny dropped, Oliver meant 'grade school'! I have absolutely no idea where he got the word graveyard from, but his take on things has put grade school into a whole new perspective for me!

A record setting day??

I was out last night, playing bunco with my friends and neighbors, and while I was home a little after 10 and didn't drink anything stronger than lemonade, I was so very tired this morning. One thing I have found since being diagnosed with an auto-immune disease is how my energy is very quickly spent, I have to clean the house in short spurts, and tackle just a few chores each day. But this morning I struggled to get out of bed and the boys were full of beans and jumping all over me demanding I wake up! How can I resist those sweet little voices?

I wondered how my day was going to pan out, often when I am extra tired the boys pick up on it and create mayhem and madness in the house and I have neither the energy or the patience to deal with them. Right now it's coming up to 2.30pm and the day so far has been calm, quiet and incredibly easy. My boys are currently 'into' Play Doh, so much so that this is the 3rd day in a row that they have played with it, and today they are setting records!

They got the Play Doh out of the cupboard at 9.30am this morning, and they are still playing with it! That's 5 hours and they are showing no sign of stopping! They have all their action figures out and have made boats and space ships for them. The Power Rangers 'guys' - as my two love to call them - have been wrapped up in clay with just their heads out, they have fashioned chains to go around their legs and waists and have dive bombed each other's toys with Play Doh rockets.

They have made pizzas and birthday cakes, candles, cookies and ice cream in cones, and "wriggly worms that don't wriggle!" So far, and perhaps I should touch wood here, there hasn't been a single cross word, not a single fight and the day has been incredibly restful for me.

I think I need to look at buying Plasticine for them though - it's what I used to play with way back when and long before Play Doh was invented - and it always remains soft and pliable. The only problem with my boys playing with their Play Doh this long is that most of it is getting hard and unmanageable, but I am not complaining! I will willingly buy them new pots in return for this wonderful, relaxing day!

IT'S OFFICIAL!!

It's a new record for Play Doh! The boys started at 9.30am this morning and we just cleaned it all away at 5.35pm! 8 complete hours of creativity, no arguments, no fighting or squabbles! I had a lovely, restful day and the boys are my little stars!!!

Why?

Perhaps I am tired to day, because all these silly thoughts keep cropping up:

Why is it that when I have an appointment, and leave early for it, all the lights are green and I arrive at my destination too soon? And of course, when I am running a little late for something all the lights are against me!

Why does the phone ring when I am hauling grocery bags, trying to get my key in the door and the dog is barking like an insane creature?

Why can't men multi-task yet they can fight evil demons and gain extra bonuses at the same time in a video game?

Why does one small glass of spilled milk cover an area with the square footage of Texas?

Why does clean hair squeak when it's wet?

Why can't men see dust?

Why do weeds thrive without water, while my plants look all limp and weary?

Why do my twins insist that spaghetti is not pasta?

Why can't men see that the toilet needs cleaning? They stand up and look at it countless times a day!

Why is it that when you can't sleep and are up all night, your children never stir, but when you are fast asleep they are standing by the side of the bed whispering "Mummy! Mummy, wake up!"

Why can't men take 5 minute showers?

Who decided that green should be called green? Or blue should be called blue?

Why does everyone say freeway, runway and highway, but not railway?

Watch out for my new American/English dictionary...............coming soon!!