Thoughts of England

I am homesick this week. There's a possibility we may be able to take the boys to England next summer and I am so excited at the idea. (If it doesn't happen I am going to be SO disappointed). There's a whole family out there my twins have never met, plus my niece and nephews are in relationships and having children of their own that I have never met. It's a tough thing to be living somewhere so far away from everyone who is so close and dear to you. While I love my life here in the US, and am now an American citizen, my heart and my 'home' will always be in the UK.

I spent the better part of my life in the UK, I miss the scenery, the gentle (and green) rolling hills, the small winding roads, the pubs and restaurants. I love that you are never far from the sea and a walk on the beach and despite what many people say about British food, I miss bacon, sausages and really good pub grub. I miss being able to park my car in the town center and then just walk around to visit the bakers and buy wonderful Cornish pasties and freshly made bread. Then pop next door to buy fruit and vegetables and head across the street to the butcher to get the freshest meat available. Here, all my shopping is done at the grocery store (called a supermarket in the UK) and it's sad that so many towns here in America have lost that connection, that people no longer have the ability to walk around their town center and purchase the groceries they need for dinner from individually owned and operated shops. Having a town center is very European and I would love to see it happen here more, I miss it greatly.

Another thing that has made me feel homesick this week is a purple weed!

Before I moved to America I lived in North Yorkshire and regularly drove across the North Yorkshire Moors on business. In August the moorland comes alive and is a blaze of purple as the heather flowers and blooms. It's a wonderful sight and tourists come from all over the country to take photos and marvel at the color. (Occasionally they also try and steal the heather, but that's another story!) There are two fields near where I now live that are covered in this unknown purple weed, and every time I drive to the grocery store I am both uplifted by the sight, and saddened, as it makes me want to be in Yorkshire next time the heather blooms!

My poor head!

Isn't it funny how accidents happen when you least expect them to? Of course if you were expecting them, I don't suppose you could call them accidents! But as someone who seems to be prone to them, I am starting to think a little warning would be nice!

Chuck was off yesterday and after we collected the boys from preschool, decided to give them lunch and work in the house until we had some shade in the back garden and could go out there to work. A little while back we bought a Hoover steam vacuum so we could clean our carpets, and thought we could practice on the stairs before doing the entire upper floor. (We have wood downstairs). Chuck wanted me to sit down and rest, but I wanted to help him, so said I would vacuum the stairs while he prepared the steam vacuum. He wasn't thrilled, but I hate sitting down doing nothing while he's working! It's neither comfortable nor relaxing for me.

I cleaned the bottom few steps then moved the vacuum to the middle landing while I cleaned the last two steps and without warning the vacuum fell off the landing and hit me on the head! OMG! It hurt like hell! I burst into tears and was crouched on the stairs with my hands on my head and just crying and crying. Chuck ran over, pushed the vacuum off me and switched it off and all I heard him say was "Oh God Wendy, you're bleeding!" So, being somewhat practical, I told him to get me off the stairs before I bled all over the carpet and to fetch me some towels. I couldn't stop crying, my head hurt so much and I was conscious of blood all over my hands and arms, down my shirt and pooling around my feet on the wood floor. The twins were standing silently in front of me while I cried and bled and tried to reassure them that mummy was OK, she just had a bad boo boo!

While I stood there with the towels pressed to my head, Chuck called my doctor but she wasn't able to get me in, so we realised we were going to have to head to the emergency room. I called my friend and neighbor, Christine, and she came right over to take the boys, despite having 3 of her own children at home and a husband who was laying a new floor that day. Thank heavens for friends who are willing to drop everything to help you out when you are in a bind! Chuck and I headed to the hospital and I cried off and on the entire way, not just because my head hurt but because I was in my old gardening clothes and had little makeup left on my face! I hate to go out looking a mess! How silly!

We expected a long wait at the hospital, but the emergency room was entirely empty so I was taken straight through to be treated. I needed a tetanus shot, had my head cleaned and then injected with Lidocaine to numb it before the nurse put in two staples! OUCH! Needless to say I had the worst headache of my life for the rest of the day, and spent the afternoon trying to rest and sleep away the pain and wash the blood out of my hair. I didn't sleep very well last night, and have a bad headache again today. This morning I am relishing the quiet in the house, but already dreading when the screaming, shouting, terrible twosome get home from preschool!

Chuck has banned me from ever using the vacuum cleaner again, so I may have to resign myself to living in dust and dirt up to my ankles from now on! But how many of us clean the bottom half of the stairs with the vacuum on the floor, then put it at the top of the stairs while cleaning the rest? It's normal practice, but not for me, not anymore.

This is not all it's cracked up to be!

Just about everything you read, while pregnant and after delivery tells you of the joys of motherhood, the wonder of watching your child grow, learn and discover the world around him. But few books - or mums - talk about the sheer hard work, the loneliness of being a stay at home mother, the isolation and lack of adult conversation.

I am feeling very grumpy today, and although it's only just afternoon, it's already been a very long day. Last night I went to a wine tasting party at a friend's house. It was a lovely evening, and I really enjoyed myself. I found one wine I very much liked and had to order at least one bottle; then headed home quite happy with myself. But when I got in, which was about 9.30pm, Chuck informed me that Jamie was still awake and being a problem. He wouldn't go to sleep, said he wasn't tired and seemed to delight in making life difficult for his daddy. Oliver had fallen asleep about 15 minutes earlier, so I knew that today would be difficult as the twins would be so tired and stressed as their normal bedtime is generally 8.00pm. Within 15 minutes of being home, I got Jamie to sleep, basically by threatening him with death or worse, so he snuggled down under his blanket and was asleep within minutes. But this morning they are both unbearable! By 9.30am Oliver had had a time out in his room, during which he kicked the hell out of the bedroom door, kicked the closet door off the sliding rail and screamed non stop. He has already 'lost' his television time and his library books, no fun and games today for any of us!

I took them out a little while ago. We went to the library to select some books and then to King Soopers for a few groceries and since we got back, Jamie has taken over where Oliver left off. He screamed and cried for 20 minutes because I took Oliver out of the car before him (it was Oliver's turn to be first), he screamed and cried because I didn't carry him into the house (I was carrying groceries) and then screamed and cried because I wouldn't give him chocolate cereal for his lunch. He is presently in his room, kicking and screaming and I am SO tired of it all.

I have tried everything, quiet time, time out, loss of privileges, Love and Logic and even a smack now and then, which doesn't work AT ALL and I am resolved not to do anymore. When one twin stops screaming and crying, the other one starts. And if they are not fighting me, they are fighting each other. Raising two boys is SO hard, no-one tells you any of that, and day upon day it is so wearing and exhausting. Since the boys started preschool things seem to have gotten worse and I have my own theory on that. They are very good in school, polite and pleasant, they have been nicknamed 'The Sweeties' they are so nice, but I feel all that goodness is wearing them down. I think that after they have spent 3 hours being on their best behavior they have to let it all out, and every afternoon my time is spent resolving fights and arguments, trying to get them to do what I need, trying to get them to eat something sensible for lunch and just simply trying to get through the day until my husband gets home to relieve me of it all! It's hateful right now, I thought the terrible two's were bad, along with all the menopause symptoms I was suffering, but this is even worse.

I may need to call Supernanny! I feel I am losing the battle to help my children become nice, kind, thoughtful and generous children. Right now they appear to be monsters, they give me cheek, answer me back and scream at the top of their lungs if I should even say "I will think about that" let alone the dreaded "No!" I have read so many articles on dealing with tantrums, and listened to the wisdom of so many friends, but I feel lost in the moment right now, in the whirlpool that my life is becoming while trying to deal with two very strong willed children. I am sure that we will all come through this unscathed and wiser and stronger, but it's hard to see that moment right now.

What happened to customer service?

I left school at 15 and went to work at a company called Boots the Chemist. In the UK this is a large, well known store with branches throughout the country. There's nothing quite like it here in the USA. Boots sells just about everything, from records, dog food and jewelry to all the medicines, first aid items and prescriptions you would expect to find at a chemists. It was always (and still is) the place you looked if you wanted to buy a great camera or have your photos printed. In the very early days Boots also had a lending library, and I do remember seeing some of those books at home, with the Boots logo stamped into the front cover.

I spent 12 years working at Boots, starting out as a junior sales assistant, eventually becoming head of Display and Design, responsible for all the window and in-store displays. During my years there, I was trained in customer service, trained on how perfumes are made and what leather is used to make a great handbag. But no matter what else we learned, customer service was paramount. The customer was always right, and had to leave the store feeling happy with their purchase, happy with their experience and wanting to come back and shop again. But now, I am wondering what happened to customer service, it certainly doesn't seem to be the same as it used to be. The reason I am wondering this is because of my bicycle! (Post of 08/18/08). I am still waiting for it to be delivered and having an incredibly difficult time determining when it will arrive.

We ordered the bike from Sears and were perfectly happy to do so. Sears has a great reputation, has been around a long time and would surely ensure a good experience when shopping with them. We placed the order online on 15th August and received a confirmation email that the bicycle would be delivered on the 25th, which was perfect as we were having a vacation at home and would be able to go out for bike rides. But the 25th came and went and the bike was not delivered. I called Sears customer service department who told me the bike was going to be shipped from a store and they didn't know when that would happen! I was amazed they couldn't tell me that, it seems impossible that Sears customer service associates cannot contact one of their own stores to check on a delivery date. So another week went by, and although Chuck sent two emails to the customer service department we heard nothing else!

Yesterday I called Sears again and was quite cross. I was told the store who was going to send the bicycle out had been emailed to try and ascertain a delivery date, the associate I spoke to said she "hoped they would respond, but couldn't promise anything". I find it incredible that this is the way Sears carry on their business, and also really angry. We have paid in full for the bike, and we don't have it, and have no idea when we will have it. Yesterday afternoon I spent some time online looking up the names of some of the Board of Directors and the CEO, and have already sent one email out to express my disappointment in the service that Sears is providing. I don't expect a response, nor do I expect anyone to try and remedy the problem. Which is why I am wondering what happened to customer service. Once upon a time, any customer like me, who was experiencing such difficulties, would be helped out as quickly as possible. The problem would be resolved to the satisfaction of all concerned, because the company would want the customer to come back and buy from them, they would want their reputation to remain as high as possible and they would want their customer to be happy! It's a shame it's not like that anymore. But I know one thing, whenever we are in the market for a bicycle again (and it will happen often, I have two sons) I will not go to Sears for them!